The Maul of America is the primary dungeon in Invisible Hands, a campaign I have thought a lot about but not run. Here are even more monsters from the economic depths.
If you haven’t read the first post, you should. Because I like it.
Sidebar: Influence
Human souls have 100 parts. Some monsters and dungeon effects possess, colonise or corrupt those parts - i.e., 5 shares turned towards Kegare is 5% Corrupting Influence.
1d12 Trash Mobs (0HD)
Mannequins - No. Appearing: 2d4 - 1d6 Punch | 10AC (Brittle Plastic)
Plasticated things created from ordinary people by Opus. Doll-like, beige, without bodily features. A faint remnant of the person’s face remains in the molded plastic of the eyeless head. Muted senses. Very patient. Like to hide in vents.
Boardlings - No. Appearing: 2d20 - 1d4 Papercut | 8AC (Cardboard)
Weird little waist-high gremlins made up of cardboard. Produce weird high-pitched whistles and scuttle around the upper dungeon levels. Extremely flammable, they love flames like moths do, and once they’re ignited, they just love to run around and spread those wonderful flames.
Stumbeetles - No. Appearing: 2d6 - 1d6 Bite | 12AC (Chitin)
Bold and spirited insect explorers. 3ft long beetles in bright colours - goofy fucking things with little beady black eyes, and waggly antennae. Stupid like bricks, brave like Hercules. They seem to understand English well enough to comically misunderstand it. The red ones go faster. They rove out to see dungeon areas, and drag food back to wherever the hell they come from.
Cowboys - No. Appearing: 2d4+1 - 1d6*+1 Revolver or Lasso (Grapples) | 12 (Leathers)
Origins unclear, keep whooping and hollering and playing the harmonica and saying “get along little doggy” and lassoing shit. Don’t appear(?) to be ordinary humans, seem to come from somewhere they refer to as “The Frontier”, which, by the limited descriptions they give between mournfully cooking beans and forming posses, doesn’t seem to be the western USA.
Syrup Slimes - No. Appearing: 2d4 - 1d4* Suffocate | 10AC (Adhere)
Round little slimes of pure syrup. Often flavoured - fruit, soft drink, roast beef, and so on. Bounce, sproing, splatter into sticky goo when slain.
Adhere - Melee weapons which strike a syrup slime kill it, but get stuck in the gooey mass. Boiling water releases them.
Aesthetic Partisans - No. Appearing: 1d6+3 - 1d10*+2 Rifle, or 1d8 Sword/Spear | 12AC (Mid-Fashion)
Lie at the intersection of dungeon monster and political irredentist. Referred to pejoratively as “simps”, these are people charmed by the Beauties who once ruled Chicago. Their ability to operate in normal Economic society has been destroyed by Prismatic devotion-fixation. You’ll probably find them gathered around glossy images of their absent masters, shuddering for the brush of a hand. They view you (correctly) as the arms of the City Authority which they war against.
Conscripts - No. Appearing: 2d4+4 - 1d4 Spit Blood, 1d8+1 Improvised Weapon | 8AC (Rags)
Kegare-infected humans, swollen with blood, rotten-faced, with bloodshot eyes and rot dripping from their ripped-open guts. There’s no known cure for being this far gone - some Scavengers call them “zombies”, because it helps make killing the things easier.
Schmaltzers - No. Appearing: 2d4 - 1d6, Sticky Punch | 8AC (Grease)
Bizarre stumbling homunculi made of rotting clarified poultry fat. They stumble through the upper dungeon from the direction of an area older Scavengers have taken to calling the “Greasetrap”. Not massively threatening, but they attract larger, hungrier dungeon denizens when they die, releasing a thick poultry aroma.
Sticky Punch - Empties a random inventory slot on crit or max damage.
Awful Outfits - No. Appearing: 1d20 - 1d6* Choke | 8AC (Thin Cloth)
Dogshit fits loosed from some forgotten clothing bin, moving as if occupied by a floppy, invisible person. Possibly animated by Economic forces, a desire to be bought and worn - but it’s hard to tell, because they don’t talk.
Husks - No. Appearing: 1d12 - 1d6*+2 Handgun, or 1d8 Bat/Crowbar/Hammer | 10AC (Clothes)
When the madness of Zeitgeist eats you and thoroughly uses you up, you turn hollow-eyed, shaky, gaunt and (literally, physically) empty. A fate awaiting all those lunatics, berserkers and throngs that fail to “make it”, and break into the endless dionysian paranoia. Husks aren’t automatically aggressive, but they’re desperate - abandoned by Zeitgeist for reasons beyond their understanding, they act erratically in an attempt to recapture that holy attention.
Probes - No. Appearing: 2d4 - 1d6 Taser (electrical, nonlethal) | 14AC (Steel)
The simplest, smallest kind of mechanical drones in the machine hierarchy of Opus. Their purpose is to gather information, drive away minor nuisances, and incapacitate invaders for capture by larger machines. They look like a shiny metal dome with four little mechanical legs and a blinking camera eye.
Divers - No. Appearing: 1d20 - 1d4 Punch, 1d4 Seawater Spit | 12AC (Diving Suit)
What’s left of those completely subsumed in the Flood. Constantly sodden diving suits hang off bloated frames. They have peeling skin, weak flesh, slack jaws, and empty blue-black eyes. Their faces are reduced to fleshy blurs - and they’ll splatter if you punch them. The remains of early exploration within the body and realm of Flood.
Tank Imago
8HD (40HP), AC18 (Angled Plating), Damage Threshold 8, Morale 12 (H O O - R A H)
A fully developed tank, shiny and strong, with roaring tracks and a full cannon. Full of loud, full-grown Crew with a shaky understanding of English.
No. Appearing: 1 (1d4 in Mothballs)
Movement: As main battle tank.
Senses: Rangefinder sight, tinny hearing | Crew have human senses and can communicate with the Tank verbally.
Morality: Militaristic, territorial, aggressive, fearless. Egged on by its Crew.
Intelligence: Dumb as a sack of HEAT rounds. | Crew, however, are perceptive and quick-learning.
Alignment: Tank Battalion.
Attacks: (1x Cannon + 1x Machine Gun) OR (1x Ram + 1x Machine Gun) OR (3x Machine Gun)
Main Gun - 4d8* Ballistic Damage on a direct hit, plus 2d6* ballistic damage to the target and all within 10ft. Can’t be used two rounds in a row.
Ram - 2d6 Bludgeoning Damage, save or be run over, taking 4d6 more. Can’t be used if the Tank’s treads are immobilised.
Machine Gun - 1d8*+4 ballistic damage. Can suppress an unseen target, automatically hitting them if they enter the Gun’s line of fire. Cannot be used if all of the Crew are dead.
Angled Plating — The Tank Imago ignores piercing, slashing and ballistic damage.
Crew - A given Tank Imago has four Crew and cannot replenish them if they are lost. They can exit the Tank to get weapons - older Tanks will have heavily armed Crew. They have stats and appearance as a 1HD human sans genitalia, but are insects, for the purposes of biology, surgery and spell-targeting. They are dressed in living, biological replications of nonspecific military uniforms. Eating Crew flesh causes you to gain +10% Tank Influence. Where a human’s appendix would be, a Crewman has a Tank egg. Fresh young Tank larvae chew their way out of dead Crew within 1d4 days.
Klaxon Mech
2HD (12HP), AC14 (Plastic and Aluminium), Morale 11 (Machine)
A tall, thin-legged mech which accompanies other servants of Opus like a herald. The “body” of the mech, atop the spindly silvery legs, is dominated by four huge blue klaxons and an orange-glowing crown of camera eyes.
No. Appearing: 1 with a Mech squad (1d6 in Machine Warfare)
Movement: Agile high-stepping quadrupedal walk.
Senses: Cameras see in all horizontal directions, can’t see up. Microphone hearing, no sense of touch or smell.
Morality: Obeys the machine hierarchy.
Intelligence: Decent problem-solver, otherwise not very smart, speaks in monosyllabic words burst out in staccato Binary.
Alignment: Opus
Attacks: Klaxon Whoop - Everything nearby without at least 60% Alchemical Influence suffers 1d6+X Stress, where X is the number of Mechs present.
Greys
3HD (15HP), AC11 (Thin Skin) Morale 6 (Cautious)
Emaciated, humanoid figures, with massive heads, huge black eyes, no nose to speak of, thin grey skin, short legs and overlong, slender arms.
No. Appearing: 2d4
Movement: Slow, creeping walk. If they’d be forced to run, they attempt to use their Transit Beam.
Senses: Excellent sight, 10’ X-Ray vision, poor hearing, no sense of smell.
Morality: Emotionless, brutally pragmatic except when their cruel streak surfaces. Act as though everything they’re doing is an experiment, especially the seemingly-pointless behaviours. Curious in the way a scalpel or power-drill is curious.
Intelligence: Extremely high in terms of logic, mathematics, language, physics, etc, but completely devoid in areas of emotion.
Alignment: Zeitgeist
Attacks: Raygun - +3 to Hit, 1d6*+2 light damage.
Magic: All spells Innate | 1MD | Pain Wave, Mind Reading, Telekinesis
Transit Beam - Greys enter and leave the scene by ascending or descending in a pillar of harsh blue-white light which appears anywhere the Greys have 100m of free space overhead to conjure it. It takes one full round of signalling to conjure the Transit Beam.
Abduction - Greys will attempt to conjure their Transit Beams onto injured or unconscious Scavengers. If successful, the Scavenger is transited up and away with the abducting Grey to who knows where. Abducted Scavengers have a percentage chance of mysteriously returning within the next week equal to their Lunatic Influence. If they return, they will have lost 1d6 Max HP, 2d6 Stress Tolerance, and gained 2d6% Lunatic Influence.
Little Green Men
1HD (3HP), AC10 (Rubbery), Morale 5 (Non-Committal and Peaceable)
Small, green, rubbery figures, with large black eyes and little stretchy antennae.
No. Appearing: 3d6, Squeezed into a Saucer
Movement: Unagile run, often stumble.
Senses: Excellent sight, detect radiowaves, see heat. No smell, decent hearing.
Morality: Innocent and friendly unless a Grey or other Lunatic being is commanding them to be otherwise.
Intelligence: Creative, inventive, gullible, slow to learn.
Alignment: Zeitgeist
Attacks: Light Whack - +1 to Hit, 1 damage.
Meep Morp — LGMs communicate in peeps, toots, gleebs and glorps. This is incomprehensible, even to language-spells, unless you have 50+% Lunatic Influence, upon which it suddenly resolves into language. If you have 80+% Lunatic Influence, the Little Green Men view you as a commanding officer and will respect and obey you. They’ll teach their Zeitgeist-spells to people they respect willingly.
Rubbery — Blunt weaponry has no effect on Little Green Men. They never suffer falling damage, and if they get squashed flat, they sproing back up unharmed.
Mission Focused — A given LGM encounter has a mission to: 1. Recover a specific object. 2. Abduct a specific creature. 3. Scout a specific area. 4. Transport something valuable between powerful Lunatic beings. As for why they’re trusted with any of these things, well, who knows?
Saucer— Little Green Men fly around in little cartoony flying-saucers, about as wide as a smart-car. They make a goofy warbling noise and handle terribly, beebling and borbling and clanging off surfaces. From their Saucers, LGMs have access to 3MD and three spells: We Come in Peace, Tractor Beam, and Locate Livestock, all Lunatic spells. When they Mishap, the Saucer’s funny little engines warbles and coughs and they lose steering, if they roll a Doom, the Saucer pops in a cartoon fireball, flinging singed (but unharmed) LGMs in all directions.
We Come in Peace - [sum]HD of creatures must save or be unable to directly attack the caster, or anyone strongly resembling the caster. LGMs are all visually identical.
Tractor Beam - Target creature of up to [sum]HD is picked up in a bright blue conical field emanating from the palm of the caster / from any vehicle the caster is riding in. While the creature is suspended, its movement follows the movement of the caster or the vehicle. Optionally, it can be brought [dice] feet closer to the caster / vehicle. Suspended creatures probably can’t use their melee attacks, and can save at the end of each turn to escape the Tractor Beam.
Locate Livestock - The location of the [sum] nearest livestock is revealed to you.
Fent Cloud
4HD (20HP), AC8 (See Gas Cloud), Morale 13 (Lacks Self-Preservation Instincts)
A hazy mass of shimmering white vapour, casting rainbowy distortions in the air.
No. Appearing: 1 (20% Chance of being accompanied by a Throng)
Movement: As vapour. Slow, but hard to trap. Never tires.
Senses: Detects Life in a 60’ radius, sees heat. No sense of hearing or smell.
Morality: Whatever exists there is dedicated to harm.
Intelligence: Sub-animalistic. Probably just seeks living beings.
Alignment: Zeitgeist
Attacks: Exposure - Target creature takes 2d6+2 nonlethal sedative damage, HRTS for half, suffers 1d3 Fatigue, and clears 1d6 Stress. This deals double damage to cops. If the target is at 0HP when hit by Exposure, they die without a save and the Fent Cloud’s HD increases by 1.
Gas Cloud - The Fent Cloud is, well, a cloud, and is unharmed by mundane weaponry. It takes half damage from fire and electricity.
Mothman
12HD (60HP), AC14 (Distance), Morale 10 (Ominous Vibes)
Ruler of a Zeitgeistic community at Point Pleasant, West Virginia. Dislikes that he has to be in Chicago. Won’t explain why he’s here. Won’t explain much. Seven feet tall, slender, winged, and glowing red eyes.
No. Appearing: Unique (If he’s on the warpath, likely accompanied by Throngs, Men in Black, Greys, Husks, or other Zeitgeist-aligned monsters)
Movement: Gliding flight, casual stroll. Seems to get a lot faster when not directly observed.
Senses: Excellent versions of all human senses. Can detect people with any Influence over 60% within 1200’. Occasionally receives prophetic information from Zeitgeist.
Morality: Biblically proud, territorial, loyal to Zeitgeist. Otherwise, fairly chill!
Intelligence: Very high. Wise in esoteric matters.
Alignment: Zeitgeist
Attacks: Hypnotic Eyes or Spell, then 2x Claw (+10 to Hit, 2d6+3 damage).
Magic: All spells Innate | 6MD | Rust, Drugball, Smokebomb, Telekinesis, Sudden Wrench, Shadow Walk.
Hypnotic Eyes - When Mothman activates the Hypnotic Eyes, you can either choose to shut your eyes, or to save. If you fail, you: 1. Are Stunned 2. Are Confused 3. Are Enraged. 4. Suffer 1d6 WIS damage. 5. Gain 3d6 Stress 6. Gain a new phobia.
Lunatic Avatar - Hardly the only one. Creatures Aligned to Zeitgeist are unable to attack or impede him, and most ally with him. Same goes for you if your Lunatic Influence is over 80%.
Throng
6HD (35HP), AC10 (Human Mass), Morale 10 (Mob Violence)
A mass of people, between ten and twenty of them, all moving in uncoordinated unison. They’d be a terrifying fighting force, if they weren’t stumbling like they were drunk, and unable to go more than 30’ from each other. All members of a Throng have their faces obscured in the same way as their Throngmates - pixellated, obscured by black discs, inexplicable plastic masks, bright pink light blocking their features, and so on.
No. Appearing: Swarm (1d6+6HD in Radio Nexus)
Movement: As a human crowd.
Senses: Many eyes, ears, noses, hands. I.e., as a human crowd.
Morality: Territorial, violent, mostly confused. Attack at the slightest provocation. Cling to each other.
Intelligence: As a human crowd (i.e., low, panicky).
Alignment: Zeitgeist
Attacks: Violence - Up to three people in the area of the Throng take 2d6 bludgeoning or slashing damage, whichever is worse, save for half. Those who fail their save also gain 1d6 Stress, and are knocked prone if any damage dice shows up 6.
Swarm — The Throng takes minimum damage from singular target effects, and maximum damage from AoEs. A singular member of a Throng is 0HD with 3 hit points.
Safety in Numbers — Throng members will never willingly leave a 30’ radius of a point at the rough middle of the Throng’s mass. Said point moves with the crowd. Members of a Throng have 100% Lunatic Influence.
Mob Mentality — If the Throng envelops someone at 0HP, that person will be drawn into the Throng unless rescued before the Throng’s next turn. When a new person is drawn in, the Throng gains 1d6HP back, and access to any capabilities the absorbed person had. The absorbed person gains 100% Lunatic Influence.
Demagoguery — People with 80% or higher Lunatic Influence can verbally command Throngs. If contested commands occur, resolve with a CHA rolloff.
Reassertion — If a member of the Throng is grabbed and dragged away from the central point, and prevented from returning to it for 24 hours, they save. On a successful save, they are freed, regaining 1d3*10% Self and becoming a normal person again. On a failed save, they become a Husk.
Fatberg
6HD (36HP), AC8 (No Defenses), Morale 13 (No Self-Preservation)
A gruesome lump of cold fat, a mix of cooked and raw. Has no clear organs or reason for animation, but oozes along nonetheless. Sometimes found blocking crucial dungeon junctures.
No. Appearing: 1 (1d2 in Greasetrap)
Movement: Glacially slow, inexorable, slimy slide.
Senses: Vague idea of the position of creatures within 30’, otherwise, nil.
Morality: Seems to be hunger-driven.
Intelligence: Nil.
Alignment: None
Attacks: x2 Slam, then Engulf
Slam - +0 to Hit, 3d6 bludgeoning damage.
Engulf - Target saves with a +4 bonus (unless they were hit by a Slam this turn). If they fail, they’re sucked into the Fatberg, take 2d6 pressure damage, and begin to drown in fat.
Melting - The Fatberg takes double fire damage.
Blob - The Fatberg is immune to bludgeoning and piercing damage, and halves all slashing and ballistic damage.
Diner Spider
6HD (30HP), AC14 (Thick Chitin), Morale 6 (Animal)
A fuckoff gigantic trapdoor spider the size of a car, that lairs in diners and fastfood joints. Protagonist of many Scavengers' nightmares.
No. Appearing: 1 per lair.
Movement: As fuckoff gigantic spider. Rapid explosive motion, but slow over long distances.
Senses: Decent sight. Tremorsense 120’.
Morality: Hunger-driven.
Intelligence: Animal cunning. Understands ambush, both in terms of ambushing people, and getting ambushed.
Alignment: None
Attacks: Bite - +6 to hit, max damage from ambush. 2d8+4 piercing damage, and save or take 2d6 poison damage.
Trapdoor - The Diner Spider is usually concealed in a narrow pit lined with its plasticky gossamer silk. The top of the pit has a thick, trapdoor-like lid, covered with linoleum, tiles, booth-seating, etc, to allow it to carefully blend into its lair. When it senses motion around its trapdoor, it blindly lunges for the first moving thing which draws near enough. The Diner Spider only leaves its pit in extreme circumstances.
Asbestos Ant
3HD (15HP), AC14 (Hard Carapace, Thick Bristles), Morale 6 (Animal)
Not actually an ant! It’s a horse-sized wingless wasp, in fact. The thick fibrous coating of asbestos all over its body can be harvested by the brave or committed.
No. Appearing: 1d3 (1d6 in the Polyhive)
Movement: Agile scuttling, top speed 35mph.
Senses: Good sight, bad hearing, not much smell. 10’ tremorsense. Pheromonic communication with other Asbestos Ants. Their pheromones are carcinogenic in humans, but not on a timescale you have to worry about.
Morality: Territorial, skittish, bitey, but basically just a normal animal.
Intelligence: Low.
Alignment: None
Attacks: Bite - +3 to Hit, 2d6 piercing damage.
Fireproofing - The Asbestos Ant takes no fire damage.
Giant Ape
5HD (25HP), AC15 (Hide), Morale 8 (Apex Predator)
Giant chimpanzee with foot-long fangs. A rather unpleasant surprise to find behind a dungeon door.
No. Appearing: 1 (1d3 in the Underground Forest).
Movement: Rapid knucklerun, fast brachiation.
Senses: Excellent sight, smell, and hearing.
Morality:
Intelligence: Smart enough to be cruel, but still stupid enough to be gullible.
Alignment: Radicarian
Attacks: x2 Rip, then Bite against a target successfully hit by Rip, if there are any.
Rip - +6 to Hit, 2d4+2 - On a critical hit, destroys a randomly selected weapon or piece of armour.
Bite - +6 to Hit, 2d6+4.
Faceripping - Giant Apes prioritise the lowest HD enemies. They land critical hits on rolls of 19 or 20. They have 2 points of rage available whenever you encounter them.
Rage Against It - Giant Apes whose Morale hasn’t broken continue to fight for [unspent rage]+1 rounds after being reduced to 0HP, before keeling over dead.
Ningyo
6HD (36HP), AC16 (Thick Scales), Morale 10 (Little Fear of Dying)
Huge squamous humanoids, with smeared faces, asymmetrical fins, tentacular hair and horrific oblivion eyes. Rarely go clothed. These are formerly-normal humans elevated (dragged down?) to the service of Flood.
No. Appearing: 1d6 (2d6 in the Sea)
Movement: Out of Water: Lumbering, thudding limp | In Water: Frightfully fast, agile and strong swim.
Senses: Excellent hearing, senses magnetic north, blurred vision. Can perceive that which is occulted by Flood.
Morality: Casually destructive, careless, nihilistic, zealously loyal to flood, fear cannibals.
Intelligence: High, but detached from immediate reality.
Alignment: Flood
Attacks: Claw-Hand, then Tailstrike OR Spit Water
Claw-Hand - +6 to Hit, 1d8+2 damage.
Tailstrike - +6 to Hit, 2d6 damage, knocks you prone or away if either dice shows 6.
Spit Water - +6 to Hit, 2d8 damage, gunshot force. Requires a present pool of water (or waterbottle) to be used.
Magic: 2MD | Censor Bars, Irradiating Touch, Blindness, Smear Features, Kidnap Portal
Flood’s Protection - Ningyo are immune to detection magic, photographs and videos of them self-delete, writing about them runs off the page. Ningyo are passively invisible, unless they speak or attack, and become so again the second they touch water. Ningyo always surprise you when they attack you, unless you have some way of warding them off.
The Ningyo’s Flesh - Perhaps in the sea life learned to devour itself. When you eat the flesh of a Ningyo, gain 2d10 years on your expected lifespan. The next time you would die, you don’t, even if you’d really prefer to in the situation.
Captain - At least one Ningyo in every group will be 7HD, have 3MD, and will have three Aphotic Mutations.
Gore Cops
3HD (15HP), AC13 (Gore Cop Leathers), Morale 11 (Love Violence)
Apparently-human, grinning Iowans charged with Corrupt power, working for one of Kegare’s Giants in the city of Des Moines. They come as far as Chicago on individual “cases” / murder sprees.
The Gore Cop uniform is unisex, and consists of a white shirt, a black tie, black tights, garters, black boots, and a leather miniskirt, all covered in constantly wet blood. Individual Gore Cops are given dispensation to pick their jackets, so long as they’re red, black or white.
No. Appearing: 1d3*2 (Gore Cops always go in pairs with their Partners).
Movement: As extremely athletic humans.
Senses: As human, but can feel, see, hear, etc. everything their Partner feels, sees, hears, etc.
Morality: Self-interested violent psychopaths, but cheerful and high-spirited ones. Mission-focused. They always double-tap.
Intelligence: That of a drunk cop.
Alignment: Kegare
Attacks: 2x Weapon | Gore Cops possess a Straight Razor, and two other weapons, from the following list. All attack with a +3 bonus to Hit:
Straight Razor - A light weapon, slashing. Deals max damage on first hit due to sharpness.
Giant Fucking Needle - A light weapon. Contains either poison (2d6), sedative or painsaver (opposite of painkiller).
Chainsaw - Compact and electric, for body disposal primarily, and murder secondarily. 2d4 slashing damage. On crits, or double 4s, targets save or lose a limb. Fumbles jam the chainsaw.
Pump Shotgun - 1d10*+2. Against nearby targets, damage rolls of less than half are bumped up to half.
Vibroknife - Rattles and whines. A light weapon which saws apart a piece of armour on a crit or max damage.
Barbed Sword - A medium slashing weapon made of cheap metal, twisted and hooked. Crits and max-damage hits cause bleeding.
Spike Launcher - Powder-actuated, bulky, made of dark metal. A heavy ranged weapon that impales on a crit, but can only fire once per turn.
Massive Revolver - 1d8*+1. Usually fired from the hip, and holstered in a phallic manner. Crits indicate a crack headshot - save or die.
Chain Whip - +3 to Hit, medium weapon, blunt. Has all the uses of a 10’ length of chain.
Magic: All spells Innate | A given Gore Cop shares 2MD with their Partner | Interrogate, Flay, Autopsy, Bloodhound
Esprit de Corps - Any chemical affecting a Gore Cop affects their partner - they share the effects of, for example, painkillers, alcohol, poisonous gas, combat stimulants, fentanyl, etc. They also share sensations. If one Gore Cop dies, their partner goes feral for 24 hours, dealing +2 damage with all weapons, losing control of their actions, and mindlessly attacking everything around them in an insane revenge-spree.
10 Days from Retirement - There’s a 1-in-10 chance a given pair of Gore Cops are 5HD, have two Corrupt Mutations each, have +5 to Hit, and are on one last job before they retire to a comfortable life in the entrail-suburbs of the Kegaritic part of Des Moines.
The Bleeding mechanic works like this: You take 1d4 damage each turn you’re not actively staunching the bleeding wound, until you receive healing or medical attention.
3HD (15HP), AC14 (Motley) Morale 11 (Laughing in the Face of Death)
Fucking… clowns!! Men and women in goofy gear and face paint, with round red noses and curly orange wigs and everything. Looking for their missing Pagliacci down in the dungeon. One of their number runs a joke shop which shares that title, up in the Mall. “Pagliacci” is a clown-title analogous to, probably, “President”, or “Pope”.
No. Appearing: 1d6 (30% chance of 1d4 accompanying Clowns of a different Act)
Movement: Leaping, rolling, springing, surviving unusually high falls.
Morality: Humour is king.
Intelligence: Higher than the average joe.
Alignment: Pagliacci
Attacks: 2x Slapstick Gag - 1d8 nonlethal damage in melee. If both hit, roll on the Embarrassments Table below.
Magic: All spells Innate | 3MD | Three of the following: Balloon Animals, Contort, Clowncar, Loud Honk, Instant Ladder, Springboard, Rubbery Body, Charivari, Knockabout Act
Clownspace - Clowns have 10 extra inventory slots that nobody but them can access. They use this to pull key lime pies and squeaky mallets out of nowhere.
Acts - Clowns come in three varieties, like a Runequest subcult, or something like that. When you encounter a group of Clowns, roll 1d10. 1-4, Happy Clowns. 5-8, Sad Clowns. 9-10, Killer Clowns.
Happy Clowns - Dressed in bright colours, with the white facepaint, the red nose, and the lot. Standard clowns.
Sad Clowns - Dressed in black and white, Sad Clowns trudge about. They are funny by having things happen to them. Their gags are less slapstick and more bizarre occurrences of chance that explode around them (so, they happen to be ranged, and not melee).
Killer Clowns - Somewhat resemble Happy Clowns, save the fact they’re carrying chainsaws, knives, chains and guns. Probably something like the missing Pagliacci’s praetorian guard, or perhaps the slapstick assassins of clown society (is there such a thing?). They have 5HD and replace Slapstick Gag with Seriously Trying to Kill You (2d6 damage, you experience extremely dangerous variants of the Embarrassments that deal 1d6 damage, or more, contextually.) Some Killer Clowns are Aligned to Kegare and have gone rogue - these are the ones appearing alone or sometimes the ones in pairs.
Embarrassment Table (1d10)
Tripped - Fall flat on your face.
Pantsed - Your trousers or similar fall down. You can’t run.
Entangled - You and another nearby ally get stuck in each other’s gear / clothing / limbs.
Whacked - Fall flat on your back.
Pocket Malfunction - 1d4 randomly chosen inventory slots eject their contents with some pep.
Flipped - Fly over the clown’s shoulder and tumble past them.
Flim-Flammed - Whatever you were holding, the clown is now holding it. How’d that happen?
Bamboozled - Your next spell, attack, etc, has a random target.
Hit with a Key Lime Pie - Blat, right on the face. You can’t see shit.
Whoopie Cushion - How rude, for you to let loose such a blast of gas in this highly serious situation.
Killer Clowns replace this with A Real Bear Trap.
Polymaw
3d6HD (Varies, see Maws), AC10 (Slime), Morale 6 (Food-Motivated)
Slithering red-brown oozes covered in massive human mouths, chewing and drooling, with dentally perfect teeth and full cherry-red lips.
No. Appearing: 1 (Polymaws that meet combine into a larger Polymaw with as many HD as they both had).
Movement: Slow, inching, slithering. Can stick to walls and crawl up them, but not ceilings.
Senses: Excellent sense of taste and smell, excellent sense of touch, muted hearing, blind.
Morality: Hunger.
Intelligence: Very low, nearly just an automatic chewing machine.
Alignment: None.
Attacks: Bite - 1d6+1, swallows whole on max damage or crit. For every 2HD past the first a Polymaw has past the first, it gets an additional bite per turn. It prefers to use these bites on as many targets as possible.
Digest - When the Polymaw swallows a target whole, it takes 1d6 acid damage at the start of the Polymaw’s turns, and must defeat the (very strong) Polymaw in a strength contest to free itself from the mouth.
Maws - For each HD a Polymaw has, it has an additional chewing, drooling mouth on its surface. When you feed a mouth at least 3 rations of food, it is satisfied, belches, and vanishes, removing a mouth from the Polymaw and lowering its HD. If you satisfy all of its mouths, it vanishes. If a creature dies in a Polymaw’s mouth, their corpse is instantly digested, unrecoverable, and satisfies the mouth.
Flatwoods Monster
5HD (25HP), AC17 (Thick Metal) Morale 6 (Self-Preserving)
Long-armed hovering thing with a “skirt” of thick metal and a distinct “ace of spades” shaped head, with luminous yellow eyes.
No. Appearing: 1 (Occasionally appears alongside Greys and Little Green Men.)
Movement: Inexorable gliding hover 1ft above the ground, gentle slow-fall.
Senses: Bad hearing, no sense of smell, excellent sight, detects electricity within 300ft.
Morality: Difficult to discern - never altruistic, but rarely aggressive unless commanded by a Grey.
Intelligence: Seems to be high enough for complex problem-solving, but doesn’t seem to include language.
Alignment: Zeitgeist
Attacks: 3x Claw - +5 to hit, 1d8+2 slashing damage.
Electronic Interference — Within 100ft of the Flatwoods Monster, electrical gear malfunctions and fails to work properly, if at all. Within 10ft of it, you suffer 1d4 Stress per round of exposure.
Missile Mech
5HD (25HP), AC17 (Titanium Plating), Morale 11 (Machine)
Blocky, massive, hunched-over beneath two gigantic cuboid missile pods. Rolls around on roaring tracks with a blocky “prow”, with four crablike walking legs hunched up on their sides.
No. Appearing: 1d2 (1d6 in Machine Warfare)
Movement: Fast, roaring track-drive, or slow, thundering steps.
Senses: Front-facing thermal cameras, microphone hearing, small rear-facing blurry camera.
Morality: Obeys the machine hierarchy.
Intelligence: Genius at precisely one task, which is artillery. Otherwise, a slow and ponderous thinker.
Alignment: Opus
Attacks:
Ram - Can only be done with a runup. Target creature (and anybody near it) saves or takes 3d6 bludgeoning damage, then saves again or gets pulled under the Mech’s tracks, suffering 5d8 crushing damage.
Leg Kick - +3 to Hit, slow, stumbling attempt to crush. 2d8 bludgeoning damage. Can immediately be followed up with another Leg Kick at a separate target.
Missile - Launches a wire-guided explosive missile from its back pods at a target point. Everyone within 10’ of the target point suffers 4d6* ballistic damage (save for half). For each further 10’ from the blast-point, 1d6 damage is removed, until no damage is dealt. Heavy cover blocks the deadly blast. If the Mech is within its own blast radius, it doesn’t get to save for half, because it’s not that agile.
Missile Barrage - As Missile, but it expends all the remaining missiles and happens that many times. Missile Mechs never do this if a more intelligent commanding Mech is around, since it’s rarely efficient, but they’ll do it if alone and pissed off. As you may discern, this probably kills the absolute shit out of you if it hits you.
Ammunition - A fully-loaded Missile Mech has 12 small wire-guided missiles loaded up in its pods. When you encounter one, it only has 2d6 remaining. The exception is in Machine Warfare, where the supply lines keep the Missile Mechs very ready for action.
Targeting Error - Missile Mechs will never willingly attack anything with 60% or higher Alchemical Influence, though might be sobbingly forced to by Mechs higher in the machine hierarchy.
Beauties
3HD (15HP), AC14 (High Fashion), Morale 13 (Moral Purity)
Insultingly perfect and beautiful people in cunty fucking outfits. Everything they do reports on their active and beautiful and fulfilling life that doesn’t contain you or anyone like you, you fucking asymmetrical filth-covered trashbag. These creatures once ruled Chicago without mercy or candour.
No. Appearing: 1d4 (2d6 in the Nightclub) (Usually accompanied by 1d6 lesser Prismatic monsters, and at least 2d6 Aesthetic Partisans).
Movement: Flight as if on wires, vogues faster than you can run, bends like a skilled contortionist.
Senses: Sight like a movie camera, excellent hearing, entirely oversensitive sense of taste and smell.
Morality: Completely self-centred, bordering on the solipsistic. View you as a toy, or pet, on a good day.
Intelligence: No higher than a normal human being.
Alignment: Prisma
Attacks: Weapon, +4 to Hit. Beauties all carry fancy +1 Weapons which are somehow distinct and unique to them: Blued butterfly knives, pearl-handled guns, bullwhips, rapiers, gilded hunting rifles, katanas, blades made of light, &c.
Too Pretty - Ordinary people must save to deliberately harm a Beauty. Being in combat with a Beauty inflicts 1d2 Stress per round, unless you happen to have 14+ XHA.
Purity Field - Beauties’ actions rarely spring back to them. If they disembowel you messily with a huge piece of broken glass, nary a spot of blood will splatter onto them. If they walk into a sewer, they will come up literally smelling of roses. If they set off a bomb in a crowd, everyone around them will die, and they’ll be left with soot in the shape of perfect winged eyeliner on their face. Stronger Beauties begin to actively warp reality - turning bullets shot at them into butterflies, and so forth - but the ordinary ones are only protected from backlash of their own actions.
Vanity Project - The only things that can break the morale of the Beauties is ugliness. Beauties that are covered in filth or exposed to disgusting tastes and smells have 6 Morale and start sobbing and screaming about wanting to go home and take a bath.
Hobbesian Leviathan
20HD (100HP), AC10 (Human Shields), Morale 13 (Roar of the Crowd)
If a Throng is allowed to fully metastasise, interpenetrate, madden and unify, this is the result - a lumbering “giant” made of human bodies held together by invisible forces, yelling and roaring, triumphant in their power. Whatever obscured the faces of the originating Throng becomes a horrible crown - a crackling halo of TV static, a giant black disc, a cloud of shimmering pixellation.
No. Appearing: 1 (They cannot coexist in the same area).
Movement: As a lumbering giant.
Senses: The eyes, ears, noses, mouths and hands of forty or fifty humans.
Morality: Certain, violent, paranoid, territorial, reactionary.
Intelligence: About as smart as a crowd (not very).
Alignment: Zeitgeist
Attacks: Roar of the Crowd, then 2x Punch, then another attack.
Roar of the Crowd - All creatures in earshot with 5 or less HD suffer 2d6 Stress. No effect on those with 60% or higher Lunatic Influence.
Punch - + 11 to Hit - 3d6+10 bludgeoning damage.
Human Chain - +10 to Hit - The Leviathan projects a connected chain of human bodies, arms locked around waists, heads laughing - if it hits, the pair of hands at the end grapples you, and drags you back to the mass.
Beatdown - Someone grappled by the Leviathan, or in contact with its surface, takes 4d6 bludgeoning damage from punches, bites, kicks, scrapes, strangles, etc. No save.
Cast the First Stone - The Leviathan’s constituents hurl rocks, bottles, bricks, portable phone chargers, and other similar objects. Everyone in a 20’ cone in any direction from the Leviathan takes 3d6 bludgeoning damage, save for half. Fumbling the save knocks you prone.
Human Shields - Reducing the HP of a Leviathan causes constituent bodies to peel off, dead or dying. Hobbesian Leviathans can only heal by consuming and integrating Throngs. People inside a Leviathan cannot be returned to normality.
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