Friday 3 September 2021

WE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH (Class: Man-in-Black)

 This is another class for ModronRPG’s BUCKETS OF BLOOD, along the lines of my Loser Assassin. 

You used to work for the AGENCY, a poorly-defined and variously-named government organ with an inexplicable reach, an apparently unlimited budget, and a mission to violently suppress the supernatural. 

But you’ve gone rogue, and taken your strange expertises and secret clearances with you.

Now flee, across America, because Uncle Sam is coming to Fuck you. 


+1 [REDACTED] Dice and +1 to Hit per Template. 

Starting Items: Black suit, shades, 9mm handgun, earpiece, briefcase, $600, black oxfords. 

Starting Skill: 1) Gaslighting 2) Finance 3) Impersonation 4) Forensics 5) Logistics 6) Driving  

A - Operations, Intel, Dressed for the Job 

B - Interrogator

C - Haze 

D - E Pluribus Unum 


You know Operations, which you can perform by rolling your [REDACTED] Dice. 

You must have your earpiece, or another form of electronic audio communication, to perform Operations - you do so by speaking the Code Phrase into the receiver. 

Operations can be targeted on:

  • Yourself. 

  • Someone you can see.

  • Someone who answers the phone to you. 

Each level, you learn two new Operations

You may choose new Operations with a number equal to or less than [level * 3]
- i.e., <=3 at Level 1, <=6 at Level 2, and so on. 

If your [REDACTED] Dice display doubles when casting, a Misadventure occurs, per the following table. 


  1. Brain Spike - Suffer 1d6 Damage and go blind for [dice] rounds. 

  2. Transaction - You must immediately pay $[dice]x100, or the Operation fails. 

  3. Heavy Metals - Your limbs are immovably heavy for [dice] rounds. 

  4. Paperwork Error - You can’t use the Operation you just performed for [dice] days. 

  5. Chemtrail - You give off grey smoke for [dice] hours. It makes animals hostile.

  6. Known Unknown - A [dice]HD Man-in-Black claiming to be your old partner shows up within 1d6 days, to try and tempt you back to the AGENCY. If you refuse, they try to kill you. The same MiB shows up every time you roll this Misadventure, even if you kill them.  

Rolling Triples immediately reveals your position to the AGENCY, and keeps it revealed for [sum] hours - they will send your former colleagues and worse besides to come collect you. 

Getting caught by the AGENCY, or going back willingly, is more or less a character death - even though, unfortunately, you won’t actually be dead


When you get to this point in your AGENCY career, you usually get access to the files on Everything. It seems like the AGENCY is having trouble revoking your access. 

With access to an electronic device with a speaker, you can learn [dice] facts about a person or creature you have met. The facts must concern:

  • Fears. 

  • Dreams. 

  • Political Alignment. 

  • Employment Status. 

The facts are spoken to you from the device.

Incidentally, you can now also read the words hidden below black [REDACTION] bars. Careful you don’t read anything you shouldn’t.  

Dressed for the Job

You cannot use Operations unless you’re wearing a black suit and your eyes are obscured. Briefcase is optional.


When you ask a question, you always get an answer - people just can’t seem to keep quiet when you’re in their face.


If someone has recently been affected by one of your operations, they’ll also qualify or explain their answer, even to their detriment.  


People are incapable of recalling your face or name if you’re not present, unless you wish them to. 

E Pluribus Unum

“You’ve survived long enough. The Test is over, operative.” 

This is all the communique says. 

From here, you have two options:

Accept the AGENCY’s bullshit gaslighting and work for them once again, becoming a Cell Leader. You’re given command over 1d6+4 first level Men-in-Black, and a monthly budget of $50000. 


Tell them to eat ass, and go Really Fucking Rogue. You’re now immune to mind control, and can fly (did we mention that gravity is a government conspiracy?). Incidentally, you can now dress however you damn well please. 

List of Operations: 

  1. Threaten

The Code Phrase is “Intensive Lobbying”. 

Target receives [sum] threatening messages across the next [dice] days. They come from people in the street, by email, phone and letter. These can be as intense as you desire, and can caution for or against a specific course of action. 

  1. Dead Drop 

The Code Phrase is “Material Recompense”. 

In [dice] days, at a location of your choosing, a container will fill with [dice * 2] slots of equipment and money. The AGENCY (DM) chooses what's in the case, based on what problems you might soon face. This can be used as a form of crude divination. $100 is worth 1 slot. 

Each successive time in a week you use this Operation, there’s an x-in-6 chance of the AGENCY figuring out where you are, where x is the number of uses after the first. 

  1. Personal Surveillance

The Code Phrase is “Pavement Artist”

A shadowy figure follows the target person for [sum] hours, reporting on their activities. It is invisible in darkness, and has [dice] HP. If reduced to 0HP, it explodes into driving licenses and chewed cheques. 

  1. Water Poisoning

The Code Phrase is “Making The Fucking Frogs Gay”.

Target liquid becomes rife with bioengineered diseases, heavy metals, and spiritual toxins, dealing [dice] damage to anyone who drinks it. Drinkers who fail a save also suffer from [sum] days of confusion and brain-fog. 

  1. Cover Up

The Code Phrase is “You’re Hallucinating”. 

Target person loses their memory of the last [sum]+[dice] minutes in a white flash. Unwilling targets may save. You can also target this on an object, making everyone who’s seen it in the last [sum]+[dice] minutes forget it. 

  1. Personnel 

The Code Phrase is “We’re Having an H.R. Issue”. 

[sum] 0HD Suits, who are literally faceless aside from their sunglasses, appear from behind closed doors, inside locked vehicles and around blind corners. They’re armed with 9mm pistols and burst apart into pulped $100 bills and glass shards if they take a single hit. 

  1. Extrajudicial Killing

The Code Phrase is “Scheduled for Termination”

An incorporeal shadowy figure shoots the target in the back of the head with a silenced pistol. They take [sum]+[dice] damage, save for half. 

  1. Radicalise 

The Code Phrase is “Scout’s Honour” 

Target saves at a [-dice] penalty. If they fail, they lose all fear and inhibition, and, probably, start doing stupid shit. If something they later do is morally challenging, they may save again, once. They may also save again, once, if they are injured. 

  1. Helivac 

The Code Phrase is “Superlifter” 

Up to [dice] creatures are flung forcefully upwards, rising exactly a mile in the air before coming to a halt (safely) in a large black Helicopter, which can fly for [sum] miles before setting down and collapsing into a mass of water damaged tax forms and passports. Unwilling creatures may save

If there is something hard enough to stop the ascent between the targets and the Helicopter, they take [sum]+[dice] damage. 

  1. Instill Conditioning 

The Code Phrase is “Do You Get That?” 

Choose a phrase of [sum] or less words. When the target next hears that phrase, they must save, or be under your control for [dice * 2] rounds. 

  1. Surveillance State

The Code Phrase is “Matter of National Security”

For the next [sum] hours, you can choose to see out of any camera in [dice] miles - even if they’re depowered or disconnected. You do not need to be aware of the cameras’ specific locations to use them.

  1. Power Projection

The Code Phrase is “Foreign Policy Advisor” 

Target [dice] creatures. They become ASSETS. There is no save

Whenever you are about to use an Operation, you can use it as if you’re standing where your ASSET is, no range limit. You can always target your ASSET, whoever they see, and whoever they talk to on the phone. 

If you became a Cell Leader at Template D, you can expend 4 [R]D to possess one of your assets, turning them into a controllable clone of you for [sum] hours, if they fail a save

If you went Really Fucking Rogue at Template D, your ASSETS benefit from your HAZE ability.