The Psychopaladin’s Daemons have been knocking around in my brain (appropriately) since the post was posted. Here are some knockoff versions from the rotten depths of my psyche.
You can’t use this post without reading the original over on Spiceomancy, so go do that. Danke.
A reminder from the original post: Daemons start with 2HD, are ostensibly friendly, and whisper lots of (mostly bad) advice in your ear. They inform your personality, or are informed by it: philosophers are still debating this point. Other Psychopaladins can see and hear them, as well as certain sensitive types.
If you're on good terms with a daemon, it will let you cast it like a spell. If you do, roll their HD instead of MD.
There’s definitely an underlying theme to the naming and colouring of these things. In the spirit of early psychology, I decided to guess instead of asking.
Armaros - Tangled ball of snakes nailed together by their tails. Argues with itself constantly, theorises wildly, spews endless ideas. If it arrives at a conclusion successfully, it’s horrified, forgets it quickly, and returns to the safety of inchoate wondering. When cast, describe something you would like to have happen, and gain information on [sum] randomly ordered steps towards achieving that.
Corus - A fragment of stained-glass window, depicting a knight riding something unclear. Hates the wealthy, hates anyone who succeeds at anything, in fact. This hatred is primarily envy, and if you are given the chance to take something from someone, or assume some part of their life, Corus will scream until you do it. When cast, duplicates an object [sum] times - each duplicate lasts until it is tested in any way (ex. A sword is swung, a key is used on a lock), upon which it functions once, then crumbles into chalk dust.
Frederica - A great crested helm of war, with a gorget and an aventail. Proud, haughty, isolationist, well-spoken. Judges your friends harshly, but forgives and smoothes over all of your flaws. Would love nothing more than to stand atop a mountain and look down upon the whole world. When cast, for [sum] hours, the poor, meek and downtrodden automatically fear you.
Masseter - Fat dead rat with a big human mouth on the stomach. The mouth is talkative and hungry, a gourmand. Rambles incoherently about the wonders of flavour. Will not be happy unless you regularly eat unusual delicacies. When cast, induces an obsessive craving for something of your choice in [sum] visible creatures.
Issachar - An owl with its eyes gouged out. Endlessly curious, and expects you to share in that, even to the point of bodily harm. She expects you to test if that spinning sawblade does in fact cut things, using your fingers, if we’ve got nothing else to feed into it. When cast, gain [sum] rounds of precognition - act out the next [sum] rounds of gameplay - if it’s to your liking, you can declare it to be how things went, and if it isn’t, you can rewind to the point of casting.
Forneus - Hideous thing like a deep-sea creature with a glowing mouth and big wet eyes. Declares things to be “hot” or “ugly” in the tone of a priest dividing virtue and sin. Interacting too much with ugly things makes him cry for hours. When cast, makes an object either disgusting and terrifying to onlookers, or wondrous and desirable to onlookers, for [sum] hours.
Despite - A pair of clanking spurs shaped like strangling hands. Demands respect and (literal) elevation. Orders you to intimidate people whenever you can. Has a perverse sense of honour, and will get extremely salty if you act against it. When cast, she carries you [sum] feet in any direction quicker than a blink (though she can’t make you intangible). Casting Despite can be done at any time, even on other people’s turns.
Dogsbody - Looks like a dead fucking dog, which is something very few people like. Appropriately, very few people like Dogsbody. Denigrates everything. Wants you to eat rotten meat and to make a mess in public places. When cast, [sum] slots of objects are affected heavily by entropy, rendering them useless - wooden things rot and bloom fungi, iron things rust and stone things weather and split, sprouting roots.
Sepharvaim - Resembles a city’s gate in miniature, crowned with little towers topped with eyes. Sneering old money attitude, unironic monarchist. Xenophobic to the point of insanity. When cast, seals the next [sum] doorways or windows you touch - nobody you consider an enemy, consciously or otherwise, can open them until you sleep.
Raphael - A glowing trumpet which hovers, ready to be blown. Purist, musical, with a burning voice that stings the ears. Screams so, so loud if you misbehave. Has curious and antiquated standards for misbehaviour. When cast, produces a cacophonous cone-shaped blast of hot air and fire in a cardinal direction of your choice (bring a compass), dealing [sum] damage and igniting all flammables.
Berlichingen - An silvered gauntlet with spiked knuckles which replaces your non-dominant hand. Stiff, uncooperative, laconic. Likes to pick things up, does not like to let them go. Occasionally engages in an elderly ramble about old friends like tetanus or caltrops. When cast, suspends an object he is touching in time and space for [sum] hours.
Katharsis - A copper krater with a pained looking face on the outside. Is distinctly aware of the contents of all human beings, horrified by this, and intent on spreading the word. She is disgusted by all animals, especially people, who have the temerity to speak. When cast, purges poisons, acids and dangerous liquids from [sum] visible targets. Used on people, this causes painful vomiting.
Esther - A figure suggested by veils and silken drapes. Shy and yet megalomaniacal. Believes in a secret cabal of people out to get you (not her, though). Likes to vaguely imply extremely consequential secrets, then never follow up on them. When cast, you become invisible in dim or dark light, and horrifying in bright light, for [sum] hours.
Varney - A hovering fanged head with leprous skin and empty eye-sockets. Proud of his fine black hair. Gives not a whiff of shit about the world or rules, and will call you slurs if you’re not on board with his worldview. Will shriek at you to speed up if you’re taking things too slowly. When cast, always go first in initiative for the next [sum] hours, and get a +[sum] bonus to the damage of surprise attacks.
Allocer - A lion’s head with half a man’s face. The mane forms a sort of aureole around the sneer, and has something of a luminescence. Utterly immoral, loves cloudwatching, alternates rapidly between dreamy and psychotic. When cast, produces a broad cone of pale white light from the middle of your forehead, for [sum] minutes. It doesn’t blind you, but certainly blinds others.
Zebulun - Rotund, mole-like creature with a metal sphere for a head. Blinkered, trusting, believes literally anything you tell him. Possesses Edenic innocence, hasn’t yet heard of evil, and will probably forget tomorrow if you tell him. When cast, for the next [sum] hours, everyone you meet immediately forms a positive, trusting impression of you.
Syndesis - A knot tied from ropes that trail in from the corner of your vision. Tense, unimaginably so, but could you just pull that rope? Imagine the release? Gets a little weird about it. Has strongly held opinions about how and when society will collapse, and whose fault it will be. When cast, triggers up to [sum] visible mechanisms, weapons, traps, &c.
Tamerlane - A jagged, hooved shadow, with the glinting suggestion of eyes. Nonspecifically foreign, causes distress and panic in nearby xenophobes even if they can’t perceive him. Has extreme political ambitions - you must be king of the world, or nothing at all. When cast, [sum] animals attack an indicated target until they or the target are dead.
Natura - A soft-faced cat with no forelegs, bright eyes that gleam in the dark, and a docked tail. Gently patronising, well-read. Makes references, and expects that you will get them. If you ask them questions, they softly shut you up and keep talking. When cast, reveals [sum] facts about visible plants and animals (and, keep it hush hush - daemons, too).
Teres Major - A bulky, muscular torso, arms and neck ending in ragged smoky stumps at the atlas and the elbows, smoking entrails hanging low. Heavily tattooed. Has no idea what the fuck is going on, but bets you could lift that box over there above your head. Hype-guy, hypes you up to do clearly impossible things, always egging you on. When cast, take [sum] turns immediately, then save vs. death - if you fail, your spinal column explodes.
And, in the style of the “tag yourself” at the end of the other Psychopaladin post:
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